‘I chose to see beyond his challenging behaviors’ April 11, 2025
“Not every adoption is perfect. If your experience doesn’t match the “love at first sight” or “they fit seamlessly into my life” stories we often see, you’re not alone.
I fostered my boy for six months, so I knew his struggles. I didn’t keep him because I was overwhelmed with love—I kept him because no one else wanted him, and going back to the shelter wasn’t a good option. He needed a quiet home like mine, so he stayed.
At first, I resented him (yikes—that’s hard to admit ‘out loud’). My already small, post-COVID life shrank further with a reactive dog who struggled with dogs, cats, wildlife, strangers, kids, blowing leaves for a bit, car rides, and vet visits. On top of that, he has food allergies, IBD, seasonal allergies, separation anxiety, some obsessive behaviors, and general life anxiety. I questioned my ability to help him often.
But eventually, something changed—more in me than him at first. I committed to learning about positive reinforcement and cooperative care and became obsessed with enrichment. I connected with a community of people who offered their experience, support, and compassion. We “buddy walked” with friends, took a few group classes, muzzle trained, and worked through his (and my) big feelings with patience. We found meds that eased his mind and food options that helped his tummy. I chose to see beyond his challenging behaviors—to the nervous boy who didn’t feel well, physically or mentally. I understood he wasn’t trying to be difficult; he was struggling.
Our love wasn’t instant or shiny. It was slow and gritty—full of tears and frustrations. And I was afraid to bond intensely with a dog again, knowing how much loss hurts. But my boy needed deep love. So did I.
We’ve been together almost four years now. His issues aren’t gone, but we’re much better at navigating them. Loving a hard dog is a lot. It’s learning nuances in body language, managing triggers, and meeting mental, physical, and emotional needs. It’s building trust and confidence, handling complex emotions, and celebrating tiny victories. It’s also giving yourself grace—for having off days, making mistakes, and feeling like a failure—just like you do with your dog. And then starting again.
I don’t have a perfect adoption story. I don’t have an easy dog. But I do have an incredible bond with the one who needed me most. And while he may not be the dog I imagined having, he’s exactly the boy I was meant to love.”
-Michaela
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